Wednesday, December 31, 2014

So long, 2014.

We're already on the edge of the 2014. And this year has thought me so many things, I experienced a lot of things this past year either its bitter, thrilling, chilling, sweet-some, touching, etc.

Tahun ini senaaang sekali punya temen2 yang super baik di kampus, we went to new places together and we planned to do more in further.  Best part was, we celebrate my birthday in my hometown and it gets me like 'WOW, I LOVE THESE GUYS TILL I DIE. PERIOD.' statement in my heart.
Trus juga kegiatan kampus semakin hectic tapi seru dan sangat menambah pengalaman. Jadi kenal sama banyak orang.
Kalau dari segi cinta, tarik benang merahnya aja deh.
I may go lost a moment.. We did. But I learned a thing from the past and I wouldn't do the same mistake. Alteration needed for relationship, and they may lead us to somewhere better. Yet remember one thing, wherever we go apart, we always end up fall together, even harder.


Tapi dari sekian banyak hal yang terjadi, pikiran gue selalu tersita sama satu hal, and always been since I moved to Jakarta, yaitu gue jauh dari rumah. Sebenernya gapapa mau gue sejauh apapun sama rumah, asalkan gue bisa selalu pulang kapanpun gue mau. Kapan pun gue kangen rumah dan kangen kumpul sama Mama dan Ala. Ga terikat sama apapun, ga tertekan sama apapun. I mean, I'm kinda stuck in here.. I shouldn't feel prisoned in here, but why do I?
That thing sincerely quite tortured me so much since I got here. Yet, in a meantime, I realized there are many things I should be grateful for from living here for about 1 year and half, the hospitality and kindness they gave is priceless. I owe them a lot.

I believe, every single head in this world has their own life-drama they lived in these past year, whether we can cope it or still struggle on it (which I still do.) There came a moment when I feel I couldn't take it anymore, we all had. What's ours maybe rough, but doesn't mean the others doesn't experience the same too. But whenever I thought about giving up, I looked back and saw that I've killed many insecurities and problems before and I know I can do that more in further.

So, what's my resolution on 2015?
Carry it on.




PS : For those who wonder about the competition thingy I post before; I didn't win. Hahaha lol I see that coming, though. But from that day I learned something, that I should take any job-desk that demand me talking to the crowd so I get used to it. And PERHAPS I'd be better if I join more likely debating competition. That's gotta be listed in my goal next year, Yay!

Saturday, December 20, 2014

A BIG TIME

As usual, I'm running out of things to do in the middle of the night and I don't feel I'd like to talk to anyone anyway, so I decided to appreciate my complete solitude night by blogging.
And as a brief reminder, It's Saturday-night.
And I'm going nowhere.
Yeah, it sucks. I know.

Well, I've lately been distracted by something that I cant get rid of my mind, beside of him. I unintendedly joined, or being framed, to join sort of English speech contest.

BEING FRAMED.. Note that.

I actually feel fine with my English knowledge, IF I write it down.
The problem is, I suck at public speaking.
Like, sucks.

I mean, It's about talking and elaborate everything you know about one thing right away spontaneously in front of people who I don't know who's waiting for me to make a mistake so they can judge. And those sort of things are included as my biggest lack and fear and noted in my situation-that-I-hate-list.
I personally admire and even worship people who can speak fluently in front of the audience, and moreover, being a MC of some occasion. If I were them, I'll be sweating like a pig, my tongue freeze, trembling, rolling on the ground, weeping, trigger an earthquake, etc.

And most important thing is I join the competition and bring my Faculty name. It's absolutely such an honor, yet at the same time it weighs a lot. I cant let people down, I cant let myself being underestimated if I didn't win. At least I should have to bring one winning category award among of all. Yet it takes a lot of effort though..

Yup, maybe it's a little step for me to get myself out of my comfy-zone. I bet it's gonna be tough and bumpy and embarrassing, but it really worth to try I know.

Omg, I'm blown on how I can write these all things down fluently. I wish I can do this well on Monday. In front of the podium.. In front of the judges.. And win.. And it'll be the best experience of my life.

Wish me bunches of luck!


Regards,
xxxxxxx