Night Thought.

It's 11.09 pm and I have my math management mid-test (which I'm hopelessly clueless of it) tomorrow morning. Rather than studying those jerky math-stuffs, I end up myself on blogging, although I don't know what I should post about anyway.

Well, I currently get myself twisted by the idea of something that was just gone out of the rail.. I usually get everything on plan, nice and clean. Like there's nothing that I cannot expect. But this one.. Is somehow derailed the track. Doesn't mean I never see this coming, but I quite made some kind like a good expectations that probably happen. Yet what I had on hand now is the ugly-truth.

And it's, to be honest, a little heart-breaking someway..

I don't know where we head to, but I wish it leads me to something better than I ever expected.
To the something good.




(Note to self ; Stop making expectations. Its gonna pull you down when it doesn't work that way.)

Aspire.

This semester is the most hectic term I've ever been. I literally experience what they called a real campus-life which is full of assignments, quiz and many more. I have to get up early, go to bed late, have so much papers, taking notes and etc.

It's just passed a few weeks for me in my 3rd semester in collage but I'm feeling kinda overwhelmed. Besides, I'm keeping my self busy with some non-academic event and organization and it gives me a little refreshments from campus tasks.

I can't deny that the more I study in economic, the more I'm falling into it. There's a little guilt in me that it didn't join in social class in high school so I can learn economic earlier. Yeah, I was a science student before because I actually have no idea what major I should take in when I'm graduated later. As my Mom said (and most of other parents will tell to their high-school children) that science student have a wider chance to choose their universities. I was once had a will to joined Med School but then I know its a silly option because I ain't that genius, literally. And then I decided to be an architect. I love drawings and I love making houses in The Sims, (yeah, i know its a stupid excuse, sorry). And I did try some Universities test but none of them passed. I was quite devastated but deep in me I know that I'm lack of prep and I hate math which was a big deal to bear if i'm going to study in architecture.

Then my mom suggested me to take an economy major. With the power of my Uncle's doctrine, I really did take Accounting major which I have no idea on what shit I just let my self in. But, day by day, i understand that the idea of economic really fits in my wits. Because I think economy is something that people will not stop learn and its growing fast, it never dies, and also applicable in any aspect of our life. .

I realized that I'm kinda late finding my real aspire. Even though I think I cannot cope with a whole new economic-thingy in my life at the first place, buut then, I started think that I don't know what I'd become if I didn't give it a chance.

I guess a year studied in collage has been successfully brainwashed me to be an economic minded person so that I can write down this post. Lol

You know, sometimes you just have to give it a chance. What you think good to you doesn't mean it will do. I wish this post can help the reader who has similar issues feel better.

Wish you already living your real dream.

Tirza A.

xxx