Wednesday, December 31, 2014

So long, 2014.

We're already on the edge of the 2014. And this year has thought me so many things, I experienced a lot of things this past year either its bitter, thrilling, chilling, sweet-some, touching, etc.

Tahun ini senaaang sekali punya temen2 yang super baik di kampus, we went to new places together and we planned to do more in further.  Best part was, we celebrate my birthday in my hometown and it gets me like 'WOW, I LOVE THESE GUYS TILL I DIE. PERIOD.' statement in my heart.
Trus juga kegiatan kampus semakin hectic tapi seru dan sangat menambah pengalaman. Jadi kenal sama banyak orang.
Kalau dari segi cinta, tarik benang merahnya aja deh.
I may go lost a moment.. We did. But I learned a thing from the past and I wouldn't do the same mistake. Alteration needed for relationship, and they may lead us to somewhere better. Yet remember one thing, wherever we go apart, we always end up fall together, even harder.


Tapi dari sekian banyak hal yang terjadi, pikiran gue selalu tersita sama satu hal, and always been since I moved to Jakarta, yaitu gue jauh dari rumah. Sebenernya gapapa mau gue sejauh apapun sama rumah, asalkan gue bisa selalu pulang kapanpun gue mau. Kapan pun gue kangen rumah dan kangen kumpul sama Mama dan Ala. Ga terikat sama apapun, ga tertekan sama apapun. I mean, I'm kinda stuck in here.. I shouldn't feel prisoned in here, but why do I?
That thing sincerely quite tortured me so much since I got here. Yet, in a meantime, I realized there are many things I should be grateful for from living here for about 1 year and half, the hospitality and kindness they gave is priceless. I owe them a lot.

I believe, every single head in this world has their own life-drama they lived in these past year, whether we can cope it or still struggle on it (which I still do.) There came a moment when I feel I couldn't take it anymore, we all had. What's ours maybe rough, but doesn't mean the others doesn't experience the same too. But whenever I thought about giving up, I looked back and saw that I've killed many insecurities and problems before and I know I can do that more in further.

So, what's my resolution on 2015?
Carry it on.




PS : For those who wonder about the competition thingy I post before; I didn't win. Hahaha lol I see that coming, though. But from that day I learned something, that I should take any job-desk that demand me talking to the crowd so I get used to it. And PERHAPS I'd be better if I join more likely debating competition. That's gotta be listed in my goal next year, Yay!

Saturday, December 20, 2014

A BIG TIME

As usual, I'm running out of things to do in the middle of the night and I don't feel I'd like to talk to anyone anyway, so I decided to appreciate my complete solitude night by blogging.
And as a brief reminder, It's Saturday-night.
And I'm going nowhere.
Yeah, it sucks. I know.

Well, I've lately been distracted by something that I cant get rid of my mind, beside of him. I unintendedly joined, or being framed, to join sort of English speech contest.

BEING FRAMED.. Note that.

I actually feel fine with my English knowledge, IF I write it down.
The problem is, I suck at public speaking.
Like, sucks.

I mean, It's about talking and elaborate everything you know about one thing right away spontaneously in front of people who I don't know who's waiting for me to make a mistake so they can judge. And those sort of things are included as my biggest lack and fear and noted in my situation-that-I-hate-list.
I personally admire and even worship people who can speak fluently in front of the audience, and moreover, being a MC of some occasion. If I were them, I'll be sweating like a pig, my tongue freeze, trembling, rolling on the ground, weeping, trigger an earthquake, etc.

And most important thing is I join the competition and bring my Faculty name. It's absolutely such an honor, yet at the same time it weighs a lot. I cant let people down, I cant let myself being underestimated if I didn't win. At least I should have to bring one winning category award among of all. Yet it takes a lot of effort though..

Yup, maybe it's a little step for me to get myself out of my comfy-zone. I bet it's gonna be tough and bumpy and embarrassing, but it really worth to try I know.

Omg, I'm blown on how I can write these all things down fluently. I wish I can do this well on Monday. In front of the podium.. In front of the judges.. And win.. And it'll be the best experience of my life.

Wish me bunches of luck!


Regards,
xxxxxxx

Monday, October 27, 2014

Night Thought.

It's 11.09 pm and I have my math management mid-test (which I'm hopelessly clueless of it) tomorrow morning. Rather than studying those jerky math-stuffs, I end up myself on blogging, although I don't know what I should post about anyway.

Well, I currently get myself twisted by the idea of something that was just gone out of the rail.. I usually get everything on plan, nice and clean. Like there's nothing that I cannot expect. But this one.. Is somehow derailed the track. Doesn't mean I never see this coming, but I quite made some kind like a good expectations that probably happen. Yet what I had on hand now is the ugly-truth.

And it's, to be honest, a little heart-breaking someway..

I don't know where we head to, but I wish it leads me to something better than I ever expected.
To the something good.




(Note to self ; Stop making expectations. Its gonna pull you down when it doesn't work that way.)

Friday, October 10, 2014

Aspire.

This semester is the most hectic term I've ever been. I literally experience what they called a real campus-life which is full of assignments, quiz and many more. I have to get up early, go to bed late, have so much papers, taking notes and etc.
It's just passed a few weeks for me in my 3rd semester in collage but I'm feeling kinda overwhelmed. Besides, I'm keeping my self busy with some non-academic event and organization and it gives me a little refreshments from campus tasks.

I can't deny that the more I study in economic, the more I'm falling into it. There's a little guilt in me that it didn't join in social class in high school so I can learn economic earlier. Yeah, I was a science student before because I actually have no idea what major I should take in when I'm graduated later. As my Mom said (and most of other parents will tell to their high-school children) that science student have a wider chance to choose their universities. I was once had a will to joined Med School but then I know its a silly option because I ain't that genius, literally. And then I decided to be an architect. I love drawings and I love making houses in The Sims, (yeah, i know its a stupid excuse, sorry). And I did try some Universities test but none of them passed. I was quite devastated but deep in me I know that I'm lack of prep and I hate math which was a big deal to bear if i'm going to study in architecture.
Then my mom suggested me to take an economy major. With the power of my Uncle's doctrine, I really did take Accounting major which I have no idea on what shit I just let my self in. But, day by day, i understand that the idea of economic really fits in my wits. Because I think economy is something that people will not stop learn and its growing fast, it never dies, and also applicable in any aspect of our life. .
I realized that I'm kinda late finding my real aspire. Even though I think I cannot cope with a whole new economic-thingy in my life at the first place, buut then, I started think that I don't know what I'd become if I didn't give it a chance.

I guess a year studied in collage has been successfully brainwashed me to be an economic minded person so that I can write down this post. Lol

You know, sometimes you just have to give it a chance. What you think good to you doesn't mean it will do. I wish this post can help the reader who has similar issues feel better.



Wish you already living your real dream.
Tirza A.
xxx

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Time Flies


Almost been a year I ain't blogging. Gue lagi disibukan kuliah dan dan lain-lain. Ohiya gue belum sempet cerita tentang hari2 kuliah gue dari awal masuk sampe sekarang udah selesai semester 2. Time flies banget, ya.. :))
I recently study in Universitas Pembangunan Nasional 'Veteran' Jakarta. Disingkat UPN Veteran Jakarta. As I mentioned at my former post, gue pindah ke Jakarta selama kuliah. Tinggal di rumah kaka sepupu (Rumah Da Yuda&Ka Sitha) karna jarak ke kampus ga terlalu jauh.
Ga disangka gue mulai nyaman aja disini, pokoknya ga memerlukan adaptasi yang signifikan. Seperti yang gue kira, jurusan Akuntansi yg gur ambil ternyata ga jelek-jelek amat. Dan gue bisa catch-up materi yang dipaparkan, Alhamdulillah hasil IP nya juga bikin tambah semangat. Dan gue punya temen-temen baik semua! Ga sengaja kita bikin grup gitu ber-14. Wataknya beda-beda, backgroundnya beda-besa, sifat dan pembawaannya pun juga beda-beda. Tapi gue seneng aja banyak temen. Daerah rumah kita juga mencar-mencar banget! Dari Ciputat, Cileungsi, Depok, Bintaro Cilandak pokoknya jauh-jauh. Tapi ini yg bikin seru, gue jadi bisa berpetualang dan jadi tau banyak jalan hehehe. Pernah kita makan Bamboo Dimsum di daerah Bintaro (which is super jauh dari rumah kaka gue di daerah JakSel) dan gue balik naik angkot hahahaha gue pas berangkat ga mikir pulangnya gimana karna gue pikir ga jauh-jauh amat, pas sampe rumah ternyata cape banget dan jauh banget. Pernah juga abis belajar bareng dirumah Tara di daerah Ciputat dan gue gabisa pulang.... lol. (Luckily I have friend who can save the day. I owe you a lot!! Yeay.)
Walaupun hampir setahun ini ga melulu seneng sih, ada banyak drama happened juga yang kadang bikin gue males. Dan homesick.. Hehe kadang gue gabisa pulang ke Bogor seminggu sekali karna satu dan lain hal. Dan kalo udah dirumah rasanya mager balik lagiiii... huhu maafin. Tapi semester 2 gue mulai sibuk ini itu jadi pikirannya ga terfokus sama rumah di Bogor. But truthfuly, no other place better like home.
Pokoknya pada intinya, semakin hari gue semakin menggali hikmah yang mungkin Allah maksudkan dengan gue harus jauh dari rumah. Banyak banget pokoknya.. Dan gue bersyukur gue masih bisa liat sisi baik dari suatu situasi.
Dan kalo gaada temen-temen baru yang seru+klop banget kaya yg gue punya sekarang, mungkin gue gaakan betah tinggal di Jakarta.
Semoga kedepannya bisa lebih baik dan gue semakin bisa mandiri tinggal disini. Amin..
See you guys on another post!^^
Have you ever feel like you're lost in the most familiar circumstances in your life?
Like, the further you walk in, the more confuse you are to urself of where the road actually lead you.
When a place I'd rather called as a home slowly getting worn dry. Instead of fix it, would it be better if we build another new place?
Things grows even more awkward between us. And i dont know how to help ourselves to mend it all again.
I'm struggled to recall memories where everything seems full,
and yet end up get lost in my own head, my own feelings.
Maybe time has changed me way too far..
Maybe distance does matter to us.
Maybe I've been walking home too far and I seemingly can't find a u-turn.
Or perhaps, its just the time to pack my bag and leave.
Leave home and my comfort zone, then open up my self to let the world teach me brand new things..
Is it the time?
Cause I dont feel as my own self again in my own home.
In you.
-------

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Whole New Page

I decided to make another blog since my latest blog seems quite helpless to edit. All the pictures on my post (in my previous blog) doesn't appear and i don't know why and I ain't attempted to fix it though, so let it be. And also I think all the postings in my previous blogs are (mostly) very childish and cheesy and eeww. Sometimes, make it all over again are easier than mend it up. (Can be applied to any kind aspect you think of.)


So, here it is. Welcome to a whole brand new page.



Regards,
Trz.
xxx